But I’m Not a Housewife!

Domestic Bliss, Eventually

Blog Confession Number One: Blogland Loneliness

Okay, I confess:

1. I’m not a real housewife.

2. I’m envious of mommy bloggers.

3. I never did change that smoke alarm battery!! (So put me down for 20 points, thank you.)

Sometimes I feel left out of this whole housewife – homemaker genre in which I choose to write. I feel left out because I’m not yet a mother and therefore not a mommy blogger. What’s more, (yes, I’ll admit it!) I’m not even a true housewife. I’m sure you’ve noticed. I earn money working both from in and outside of the home. I don’t even know what a true housewife is. But I’m obsessed with the concept and always have been.

As you may remember I grew up in a home with a single mother who worked all the time. I never thought I’d get married and I vowed that I’d never, ever, serve my husband if I did – doing dishes and cooking meals and all that. Normal ( I’m not supposed to be using this word) families always made me uncomfortable, both at my friends’ homes in Southern California, and when I spent summers in rural Iowa. I hated the way men spoke to their wives – I was often outraged by the way Ricki treated Lucy on my favorite childhood show.

But then I matured and I met my wonderful husband (who enjoys cooking – score!) and I started allowing myself to dream about the future I’d like to have. Now I’m in a place I never imagined I’d be and I want the future to be even better.

And that means having a nice home.

I’ve spent half of my life feeling displaced and lonely because my family, both immediate and extended, live so spread out over this humongous country, and I hope to “get it together” enough to mitigate that fact someday. As in, I’d like to be able to entertain any company that should happen to pass through our lovely city, and I’d like to have our finances in order enough that we can travel to our various family members’ homes a couple times a year. And I want my home to be clean and uncluttered and to FEEL like home.

That being said, I hate housecleaning! (And I resent the fact that I’m the one who seems to be in charge of it.) I only moderately enjoy cooking. I go crazy when I’m not working outside the home – but I plan to work as little as possible at jobs other than creating a nice home when I do have children. I’m generally lazy, apathetic, and often overwhelmed about the state of my house. But I swear to all things holy, I’m going to figure this whole homemaking thing out!



  Razor Family Farms wrote @

I feel left out, too! I’m not a mommy and it seems that every other blogger has children — lots of beautiful children. *sigh*

One day soon, eh?


  Rachel Anne wrote @

Great post!! I like you already.

I’m still working on the housewife thing, too, even after a super long time. I’ll let you know when I figure it out….

I’m just now getting ’round to “meet” you and your blog. Love it.

  Blue Castle wrote @

You can do it! Not all of us have it all together either. I’m just trying not to let the dust bunnies take over all together. And we won’t even talk about the state of my basement – wayyyy too much junk and disorder down there. 🙂 Most days I feel like I’m treading water. Someday I’ll get it together and be like June Cleaver. Maybe when I get my own tv show. 🙂

  Jessica wrote @

It’s so wonderful to read comments from the bloggers I admire and to hear that I’m not the only one – who’s not yet a mom, who hardly has it all “together,” who has dust bunnies and a room in the house of which we don’t speak! = )

I’ve learned from my older sister, a mommy of 4, that NOBODY has it all “together” and that you just keep on pluggin’ away anyway.

My epiphany of the day is that a certain amount of wisdom comes along with mothering. (Well, duh!) I’m sure that when one’s family grows, life moves at an accelerated speed and the cycle of *in* order – *out* of order happens more often. There’s a part of me that thought if I didn’t solve this problem before I had kids, I’d plunge into a permanent post-natal depression – and give up. But, the truth is, nobody had it all figured out before the kids came along!

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